Death tag

Concussion, whiplash, rolled ankle. That's what playing tag with 4 and a half year olds gets you. I was at the playground tonight, playing tag with my daughter, her boyfriend and her boy friend (and boy, do I expect that to get complicated a ways down the road!) and her boyfriend's dad. So, I was being chased, and I was awesome. I was speedy, I dodged, I evaded, I ducked under a play structure, I zigged left . . . I caught the top of my head on the back side of a stupid plastic slide.

I have a lump. And maybe a concussion. And my neck really, really hurts.

And then, ten minutes later, when I felt almost good again, I start running away from one of the boys, and roll my ankle. Hard. I anticipate swelling.

I am a big dork.

Need I mention I had a pretty good day today? I had a period of about twenty minutes where I felt better than good. I felt like starting a new novel. I knew I could do it. I knew I could sell it. And then, well, I came back down a bit. And now? Let's just say I'll be happy if I can move my head tomorrow.

But, on the happy side, I have a cool new friend who is also getting divorced. She's moving to Burlington from Montpelier and we are going to conquer Burlington this summer.

All this means that life is pretty good right now, if you average out the physical damage and the new friend and the momentary optimism. In case you're wondering, the formula is:
friends+ optimism/60 - (days until my hair appointment+ number of sore body parts)*2=pretty good

Sometimes I miss math.

I remember bliss

In my struggle to find a way to support myself, I've enrolled in an intro to graphic design class at a local community college. It seemed like a good way to put my credit card to work, and maybe to pick up a marketable skill. Sound reasoning, right?

The first class was last night, and for our very first project we have to make a self-portrait collage. I am in heaven. Collage, followed by scanning and photoshopping. These are a few of my favorite things.

And then I got suspicious. Fun college class, awesome homework assignments . . . isn't this what got me into trouble in the first place? I mean, I love school. I loved-loved-loved getting my MFA. But honestly, it didn't bring me much closer to being employable. And it did bring me many student loans.

I spoke with the instructor after class--she's wonderful (another warning sign?)--and asked her about pursuing a graphic design degree. Her response was to follow my bliss. And then I got to thinking . . . do I have any bliss left? Where did it go if I don't? And can you get a loan for bliss-following?

Where's the point where you just have to give up on bliss?

I know I'm fortunate to even have bliss on my radar. A lot of single moms don't, or can't. And for a lot of people, career change is impossible. But I suppose if I've never really had a career, it's not considered change, right? And how did that happen? How did I manage to roll into my second decade of adulthood without a career? How did I end up an unemployable housewife?

So today, I'll be calling the financial aid office and asking about bliss. Wish me luck.

The one beer hangover

Will someone please explain to me the physics of beer? I truly am baffled. Last night, I went out for a grand total of 3 hours. I had one beer, dinner, two glasses of water, and two tylenol pm's. I slept more than usual (actually went back to sleep after the hounds of hell woke me at 6--one glorious hour later than usual!) So why do I feel like a train ran over me?

Ah well. At least I can take more tylenol this morning.

Reality Check

So it's the end of April. I'm still jobless, and the money I have saved is slowly trickling away, much like my heater in the basement.

We made it back to VT with only a few casualities (my sister's patience, my sanity, and leftover quesadillas from Taco Bell that I held onto for an afternoon and couldn't bear the thought of eating later. Oddly, this incident led to some quality sister bonding, as my sis made an attempt to understand why I would throw them away.)

It was a good trip, overall. We got through book 2 and 3 of Harry Potter on tape, and had some hilarity along the way.

But now, reality. I've been pulling boxes of soggy books, paper, and photos from my basement the past week and a half. I've also been desperately cleaning and organizing.

Most of all, I'm extremely happy to be back in VT. Even if I am poor.

must get the small one to bed now!