I remember bliss

In my struggle to find a way to support myself, I've enrolled in an intro to graphic design class at a local community college. It seemed like a good way to put my credit card to work, and maybe to pick up a marketable skill. Sound reasoning, right?

The first class was last night, and for our very first project we have to make a self-portrait collage. I am in heaven. Collage, followed by scanning and photoshopping. These are a few of my favorite things.

And then I got suspicious. Fun college class, awesome homework assignments . . . isn't this what got me into trouble in the first place? I mean, I love school. I loved-loved-loved getting my MFA. But honestly, it didn't bring me much closer to being employable. And it did bring me many student loans.

I spoke with the instructor after class--she's wonderful (another warning sign?)--and asked her about pursuing a graphic design degree. Her response was to follow my bliss. And then I got to thinking . . . do I have any bliss left? Where did it go if I don't? And can you get a loan for bliss-following?

Where's the point where you just have to give up on bliss?

I know I'm fortunate to even have bliss on my radar. A lot of single moms don't, or can't. And for a lot of people, career change is impossible. But I suppose if I've never really had a career, it's not considered change, right? And how did that happen? How did I manage to roll into my second decade of adulthood without a career? How did I end up an unemployable housewife?

So today, I'll be calling the financial aid office and asking about bliss. Wish me luck.